More than Fabric! (The Story Behind My AGT Audition)

 

America's Got Talent Audition

Tables stacked with perfectly pressed tops nestled side by side, walkways surrounded by mannequins showcasing the latest fads, and shiny silver racks draped with styles to fulfill almost every girl’s dream; the mall is a shopper’s paradise and the perfect spot to track down an outfit for that special evening. Yet in spite of the allure and numerous selections, I most often walked out of those thick glass doors staring at my reflection, empty handed and depressed.  

For many years the mall was more of a museum than a playground for me, with many beautiful clothes to admire, but little for me to buy, wear, and enjoy.  I had a noticeable deformity in my back resulting from scoliosis, a curvature of the spine. I was incredibly self-conscience about my back.  I didn’t talk about it!  I tried living in denial, shopping for clothing to hide behind - pretending there was nothing wrong.  Most clothes were form fitting which showcased my deformity; therefore, were off limits to me – unattainable….. Shopping for clothing was an ENORMOUS chore!

I’d scan the racks for hoodies, loose fitting t-shirts, sweat shirts, loose fitting jackets, and button up tops --- these often concealed my rib hump. **Definitely not the type of clothes that I wanted to wear!**  I wanted to wear beautiful and fashionable clothing.  Instead, I wore clothes that I felt comfortable in, that I could disappear inside of, and try to forget about the deformity behind me.  Every now and then I’d get lucky and find something fashionable and concealing, but honestly I didn’t care for most of my wardrobe.  My clothes were based more on necessity than style; a way to cover my pain and pretend everything was okay. It wasn’t uncommon for me to go into the dressing room with 15-20 items and leave with nothing.  Even more frustrating, after spending lots of time shopping for shirts, they would sometimes shrink and then I wouldn’t wear them anyway.  I always carried a mirror with me, so when trying on clothes I could check my profile in every direction.  I was on a mission to HIDE my back from the WORLD!

Each night arose the potential for an emotional breakdown when heading to my closet to choose an outfit for the next day; sometimes it was quick and painless----- other nights ended with me curled up on the bed in tears.  On those nights I’d often scan the web in search of hope, in search of a new treatment ---- “SOMETHING” to dry the tears!  After years, my search finally yielded a result – a doctor near me started an exercise based treatment program for adults and kids – no bracing or surgery!  I scheduled an appointment with Dr. Nick on my birthday – the BEST gift ever!! 

This began my transformation, my extreme makeover!  Today I’m a whole new me♥.  My rib hump has been reduced, my pain (physical and emotional) has vanished, and my curve has decreased from 42.5° to 36° so far (15% reduction).  My limits have been removed, my chains broken – I have been freed from the prison that I sentenced myself to many years ago!  My motto now is this – “I Will Hide No More”! 

Through my experience I’ve been inspired to reach out and share hope with others and spread awareness.  There are others HIDING, others HURTING, others that have GIVEN UP HOPE ----- by making some noise, sharing my story, and shining some light on this condition maybe I can reach them, in hopes that they too can experience this same freedom.

That is what inspired me to audition for America’s Got Talent.  My sister learned about the Kansas City auditions and sent me the information.   Initially, I wasn’t going to audition, but after a little thought I changed my mind.  I thought about how I could be missing an opportunity to spread hope by not attending.  I immediately jumped into action and began working on a sash to spread awareness and tell my story.  In addition, I had to find the perfect dress!!!  Something eye catching, that would stand out - in the past this would have been an absolute NIGHTMARE for me, but this time was different.  This was the first time I’d ever been shopping for an evening dress without having to worry about concealing my back.  It was a HUGE moment for me!  So many choices – yes, I had choices!!  I swept through the racks with my mom and aunt, grabbing every dress that caught my eye and headed for the dressing room.  As I began trying on the dresses, past memories and feelings flashed before me. I began remembering the numerous unhappy and tearful dressing room experiences of the past and in that moment it hit me - how much my life has changed in a year!  This led to more tears, but this time it was initiated by overwhelming joy and happiness. 

My Sash

My Story

Audition day, I walked about 5 blocks in the January cold to the convention center to register and wait in the massive audition line.  After making it through registration I waited in the holding room to audition.  I expected to wait for hours, complete my 90 second audition, and head home, but to my surprise I was approached by the staff and asked about my dress and sash.  I was elated.  I got to answer some fun questions about the show in an interview, and be in some crowd shots.  It was a blast!  Regardless of whether I make it to the next step of the process or not, I’m so glad I auditioned.  Like I told them – it was a miracle for me to audition for them wearing my sparkly pink sequined dress that day.  Because of the deformity in my back I never would have worn that dress before, but because of my treatment I stood before them – ABSOLUTELY CHANGED!  It was such a special day for me!  That day my 90 second performance was more than just an audition and my dress was much MORE THAN FABRIC!

Marce♥

I auditioned in person and online.  My online audition features a little about my story and is posted on the page below. 

Sharing my journey at www.facebook.com/thecrookedlife