America's Got Talent Audition |
Tables stacked with perfectly pressed tops nestled side by
side, walkways surrounded by mannequins showcasing the latest fads, and shiny
silver racks draped with styles to fulfill almost every girl’s dream; the mall
is a shopper’s paradise and the perfect spot to track down an outfit for that
special evening. Yet in spite of the allure and numerous selections, I most
often walked out of those thick glass doors staring at my reflection, empty
handed and depressed.
For many years the mall was more of a museum than a
playground for me, with many beautiful clothes to admire, but little for me to
buy, wear, and enjoy. I had a noticeable
deformity in my back resulting from scoliosis, a curvature of the spine. I was
incredibly self-conscience about my back.
I didn’t talk about it! I tried
living in denial, shopping for clothing to hide behind - pretending there was
nothing wrong. Most clothes were form fitting
which showcased my deformity; therefore, were off limits to me – unattainable…..
Shopping for clothing was an ENORMOUS chore!
I’d scan the racks for hoodies, loose fitting t-shirts,
sweat shirts, loose fitting jackets, and button up tops --- these often
concealed my rib hump. **Definitely not the type of clothes that I wanted to
wear!** I wanted to wear beautiful and
fashionable clothing. Instead, I wore
clothes that I felt comfortable in, that I could disappear inside of, and try to
forget about the deformity behind me. Every
now and then I’d get lucky and find something fashionable and concealing,
but honestly I didn’t care for most of my wardrobe. My clothes were based more on necessity than
style; a way to cover my pain and pretend everything was okay. It wasn’t
uncommon for me to go into the dressing room with 15-20 items and leave with
nothing. Even more frustrating, after
spending lots of time shopping for shirts, they would sometimes shrink and then
I wouldn’t wear them anyway. I always
carried a mirror with me, so when trying on clothes I could check my profile in
every direction. I was on a mission to HIDE
my back from the WORLD!
Each night arose the potential for an emotional breakdown when
heading to my closet to choose an outfit for the next day; sometimes it was
quick and painless----- other nights ended with me curled up on the bed in
tears. On those nights I’d often scan
the web in search of hope, in search of a new treatment ---- “SOMETHING” to dry
the tears! After years, my search
finally yielded a result – a doctor near me started an exercise based treatment
program for adults and kids – no bracing or surgery! I scheduled an appointment with Dr. Nick on
my birthday – the BEST
gift ever!!
This began my transformation, my extreme makeover! Today I’m a whole new me♥. My rib hump has been reduced, my pain (physical
and emotional) has vanished, and my curve has decreased from 42.5° to 36° so
far (15% reduction). My limits have been removed, my
chains broken – I have been freed from the prison that I sentenced myself to
many years ago! My motto now is this – “I
Will Hide No More”!
Through my experience I’ve been inspired to reach out and
share hope with others and spread awareness.
There are others HIDING,
others HURTING, others that have GIVEN UP HOPE ----- by making some
noise, sharing my story, and shining some light on this condition maybe I can
reach them, in hopes that they too can experience this same freedom.
That is what inspired me to audition for America’s Got
Talent. My sister learned about the
Kansas City auditions and sent me the information. Initially,
I wasn’t going to audition, but after a little thought I changed my mind. I thought about how I could be missing an
opportunity to spread hope by not attending.
I immediately jumped into action and began working on a sash to spread
awareness and tell my story. In addition,
I had to find the perfect dress!!!
Something eye catching, that would stand out - in the past this would
have been an absolute NIGHTMARE for me, but this time was different. This was the first time I’d ever been
shopping for an evening dress without having to worry about concealing my back. It was a HUGE moment for me! So many choices – yes, I had choices!! I swept through the racks with my mom and
aunt, grabbing every dress that caught my eye and headed for the dressing room.
As I began trying on the dresses, past
memories and feelings flashed before me. I began remembering the numerous
unhappy and tearful dressing room experiences of the past and in that moment it
hit me - how much my life has changed in a year! This led to more tears, but this time it was
initiated by overwhelming joy and happiness.
My Sash |
My Story |
Audition day, I walked about 5 blocks in the January cold to
the convention center to register and wait in the massive audition line. After making it through registration I waited
in the holding room to audition. I
expected to wait for hours, complete my 90 second audition, and head home, but
to my surprise I was approached by the staff and asked about my dress and
sash. I was elated. I got to answer some fun questions about the
show in an interview, and be in some crowd shots. It was a blast! Regardless of whether I make it to the next
step of the process or not, I’m so glad I auditioned. Like I told them – it was a miracle for me to
audition for them wearing my sparkly pink sequined dress that day. Because of the deformity in my back I never
would have worn that dress before, but because of my treatment I stood before
them – ABSOLUTELY CHANGED! It was such a
special day for me! That day my 90
second performance was more than just an audition and my dress was much MORE
THAN FABRIC!
Marce♥