Thursday, October 22, 2015

My Scoliosis Bucket List


For YEARS I drowned myself in massively over-sized tops to hide a 42.5 degree curve in my spine; a curve that caused my right shoulder blade to protrude outward and make me feel deformed.  I didn’t divulge the fact that I was crooked; instead I did EVERYTHING in my power to hide it.  It was devastating to me for anyone to notice!  Because of it I allowed myself to miss out on a lot of FUN STUFF – I rarely ever just let my hair down and fully embraced life!  I’ve done a lot of traveling and have had some fantastic experiences, but I was always on guard – always at work to make sure I adequately concealed my back.  This meant giving up certain activities and composing a list of excuses for family and friends when I was invited to an event for which I thought my back would be EXPOSED!  Today I’m thrilled to share - those thoughts, those years, those excuses and limitations are a thing of the past!!! 

One year ago “TODAY” my life CHANGED!  Today is the one year anniversary of my official appointment at Restoration Chiropractic in which I learned about a new scoliosis treatment program for kids and adults - no bracing or surgery!  I scheduled the appointment on my birthday; seemed fitting – it truly has been such a wonderful gift!!  I started treatment in mid-December and  since that time I've never been the same!

So today I’m reflecting on the past year, some AMAZING VICTORIES, and a boat load of goals I’ve been able to check off of my SCOLIOSIS BUCKET LIST! 

And sharing a few more things on my list that I hope to accomplish this year!

 

#1 – The BIG Reveal – March 2015 

This was a BIG ONE!  I was so scared! I remember hesitating to tap on the FaceBook “post” button when sharing with my family & friends that I had scoliosis, but I did it!!  They’ve been so supportive!  It was a real surprise to many of them because I worked extremely hard to hide it.  If it wasn't for Dr. Nick's work with scoliosis patients I would still be hiding today ---- I DON'T EVEN WANT TO THINK ABOUT THAT!!


 
#2 – Lose the PainMarch 2015    
Standing in one place, shopping, jogging, cleaning, and sitting are all ways in which I experienced pain.  The majority of the pain surrounded my entire right shoulder blade; the one in which my spine curves toward.  Sometimes it was mild and other times severe, but one thing is for sure --- it affected my life in a huge way.  I recently went back and read some entries from my journal throughout the years and realized  just how long it has been affecting me.  Through treatment I am NO LONGER experiencing pain!!!  Huge VICTORY!
 

#3 – Spread the Word – May 12, 2015

When someone has hope restored into their life – "WATCH OUT" ­– because the natural thing to do is shout it from the mountain tops!  To share this hope I created a page to document my journey. 

 

 #4 – Wear an Open Back Dress - June 20, 2015

As a result of treatment my confidence bloomed and I became BRAVE enough to wear an open back dress in public for the first time; something I would have been absolutely mortified to do prior to this day.  I was so nervous, excited, and a little scared --- but I did it!  It was a freeing experience and has paved the way for a new perspective.



#5 – Burn my Sports Bras – July 4, 2015

July 4th, 2015 was a day to celebrate freedom in more ways than one!  For over 20 years I’d been wearing sports bras in an attempt to conceal my protruding shoulder blade and if I didn’t wear one my shoulder would be in horrible pain.  Through treatment the pain is gone, my back is looking better, and I stopped hiding ------ so it was time to BURN the Sports BRAS to celebrate my new found freedom.  As we lit up our fireworks - we lit them up too! My family had fun with that one – LOL!
 



#6 – Stop Hiding – July 2015

I faced my fear by exposing my back to make a statement -----  This video explains how I was able to come out of hiding, have confidence with my curve, and do the thing that's always TERRIFIED me the most - exposing my back to the world! I found a body artist and photographers to help me make a statement -- I WILL HIDE NO MORE!
 

 
#7- Wear a Swim Suit – August 15, 2015

I hadn’t worn a swim suit in over 20 years.  In fact I normally avoided swimming/beach altogether.  When I did go I’d wear a loose sports top over a sports bra – feeling very self-conscience the entire time.  Several years ago I went on a trip to Hawaii; I spent months trying to find a swim suit that I’d feel comfortable wearing --- OH THE FRUSTRATION!  I finally found one that I thought I’d be brave enough to wear, but when we got to Hawaii I CHICKENED OUT!  2 years later that swim suit still had the price tags attached until August of 2015 --- we grabbed my nephew and headed to the local beach!  I wore that swim suit and experienced another awesome victory!!

 

 #8 – Improvement (Last X-rays August 30, 2015)

So far my curve has been reduced from 42.5 degrees to 38 degrees. I've also had a reduction in my rib hump; I’m able to wear clothes that I never would have worn before -- like the white and black dress below which was a gift that hung in my closet until I finally acquired the confidence to wear it!


 

#9 – Get Rid of Oversized “Safe” Clothes – September 2015

It was difficult to find clothes that would conceal my back (with so many form fitting styles on the market).  Anytime I found a top that covered up my condition I bought it – usually whether I liked it or not!! In fact I had many of the same shirts in different colors -depressing!!!  Clothes are an everyday thing (unless you live in a nudist colony) so I struggled daily!!  Sometimes tops would fit right at first, but later would shrink.  It was an emotional rollercoaster.  I was excited on days when I found something that looked good and fit the way I wanted it, but other days it seemed like I couldn’t find anything to fit right and would have an emotional breakdown.  I feel so blessed that those days are gone.  Shopping has been so much easier now.  I’m in a new realm of freedom, happiness, and self-confidence.  I knew it was time to go through my closet and get rid of the OVER-SIZED clothes – (my safe clothes) and start replacing them with clothes I love.  I boxed them up and that is that!!!  GOODBYE – I will not miss them!!!!




Some remaining items on my bucket list: 

*Ballroom Dancing: I've always wanted to take lessons, but wouldn't because of the form fitting dresses and  
being afraid that some of the dance moves would expose my back. 

*Back Massage: NEVER wanted anyone to see my back, so would never get one!

*Go on a Beach Vacation - Not Think About My Back Once!: Oh to experience freedom in one 
of my favorite places - A BEACH!

*Continue Improvement: I'm going to keep striving to achieve the best results possible - I'm not giving up!  

*Secret Goal: If I’m able to achieve it – I’ll reveal it!


4 comments:

  1. You really should call massage therapists in your area and ask if they have experience in working with scoliosis. If they say yes then there is no.reason to fear going to get a massage. The therapist will expect the curve and accept you as you are. The neurological feed back from the massage will help your nervous system correct the curve. After 3 years one of my client's curves are no longer obvious to the casual observer. There is still some remodeling of the ribs to finish which requires work each week to keep them from pushing the spine back into rotation.

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    1. Wow - thanks so much for the info!! I really appreciate it! Years ago I went to PT for the pain. One of the therapists who was working with me must not have seen someone with scoliosis before, when I turned around with my back towards him - he reacted with shock. Those type of experiences fed my fear! Now that I've been in treatment and have seen improvement in the appearance of my back I've gained confidence and am comfortable having a massage now. How often is a massage recommended?

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  2. Hi Marce! I'm glad you now have found a freedom in everything and you don't have pain anymore. When I was little, doctors thought I had a curve in my back. They never found it. Thanks for sharing your story. I hope you will be able to do the other thing on your bucket list. Have a nice day!

    Jacqueline Hodges @ Dr Koziol

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    1. Hi Jacqueline - So nice to hear from you! Thank you, it really has been life changing! I'm glad no curve was found in your back - that's a blessing. I'm working on my bucket list. I got a back massage. If it were up to me I'd be on that beach vacation right now; before the end of the year, I hope. Thanks so much for your comment. Have a great day!

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